Grab a cup of tea and dive into the blog on all things love, pleasure, desire & intimacy!
Z is for Zero: Three Essential Steps to Take your Nonexistent Sex Life from None to Fun
If you are like most of us out there you likely weren’t given the necessary puzzle pieces that help make a beautiful relationship picture come and stay together. Instead, you may have been left to just wing it and when it comes to relationships, we can’t just wing it. It just doesn’t work. Sure, it may work for trying some new restaurant because if it doesn’t go well then there is no harm no foul. But when it comes to your relationship, there is harm. The impact is way more detrimental because…
Y is for Yes: Three Scary Ways Your People Pleasing Sabotages Intimacy
I was out for a run the other day along a path I normally take where I curve around the field of a school. Usually, when I’m out running there are kids practicing lacrosse or football or some other sport. On this run it was baseball. As I ran by, a ball went over the fence. I had options. I could have kept on running because, well, it was their ball and those kids are agile enough to hop over the small fence. It wasn’t my job to help them out nor did I particularly need to. Or I could instead go out of my way and run off my path, grab the ball and throw it over the fence so they didn’t have to go out of their way. I chose this time to…
X is for porn: What to Do When Your Partner Watches Porn and You Aren’t Thrilled About It
A concern that frequently pops up in long-term relationships is porn use. You might find yourself thinking, “Ugh my partner watches porn and I’m so not OK with it!” Sound familiar? If this is you read on.
The reality is that many men and women watch porn and it makes sense given it’s pretty dang accessible. I mean, as a kid there’s no way we could have imagined that you could not only watch video from a cell phone but also that a quick search would give you…
V is for Vulnerability: The Glue of Your Relationship
Vulnerability is the glue in life and relationships. Without it you would not be able to connect with those around you. Well you could but only on a surface-to-surface level. Vulnerability allows you to connect deeply from heart to heart. But as important and valuable as it is, vulnerability for many of you may be hard and scary. Actually I might even go as far as to say for most of you. Like words might not seem to explain hard and scary it is to express your desires, and needs. Sure maybe you can share…
P is for Pleasure: How to Focus on Pleasure and Leave Pressure in the Dust
Last week we talked about the key elements of orgasm, including the body, mind, and vulnerability. Although it is helpful to know what is needed to contribute to the potential experience of an orgasm, I want to emphasize that orgasm does not necessarily need to be the sole pleasure goal when enjoying intimacy with your partner. Instead, intimacy is about a shared pleasurable connection and the best way to do this is to expand your intimacy focus so that you have a whole array of pleasurable ways to connect that isn’t focused just on orgasm…
M is for Myths: Five Common Myths That Harm Your Relationship
As a therapist I see numerous relationships that are impacted negatively by the inaccurate myths that are thrown at us from the media, Facebook, porn, romance books, religion, trying-to-be-helpful parents or friends.
With the numerous inaccurate and negative messages out there that create harmful myths I want to help you re-examine what is good and what isn’t when it comes to sustainable relationships. Here are five of those myths…
H is for Helping your Partner Love You: Two Secrets for Relationship Success
I hate to be the one to break the news to you but try as you may you don’t have superpowers. I know! It’s a total bummer to know you won’t ever have any awesome mind-reading powers like Professor Charles Xavier of the X-Men mutants.
Not only can you not read your partner’s mind but…
The Technology Talk - Tech and Your Relationship
Technology, for better or for worse, has become a part of everyday life. Some people even desire the use of their phone over sex. In a past survey, 15% of respondents said they would rather give up sex than go without their iPhone for a weekend. Needless to say, I’m surprised. How is it that we have allowed technology to take precedence over our sex lives?