Expectations are something that constantly enters my office as a therapist. When helping my clients with sexual and relationship concerns, expectation always rears its ugly head. One of the big expectations that many of us feel when it comes to sex is that we need to perform. It’s as if during sex we...

Where desire is concerned, the brain is your target. Essentially, the more your brain is open to the idea of sex, the more desire can build. Alternatively, the more our brain is blocked, the less potential there is for sexual intimacy. What contributes to a brain being turned on or off to sex is

The clitoris is an amazing part of a woman’s body and a very important aspect of many women’s sexual satisfaction. The pleasure-potential of the clitoris is astounding given that it is made up of nearly 8 thousand nerve-endings, which is double the number in the penis!¹ And don’t think the clitoris is only limited to the small pencil eraser-sized glans you can see poking out under its hood, there is a whole lot more than the eyes can see.

The holidays are supposed to be a time for happiness, cheer and wonderful family experiences, right? For some this isn’t always the case. The effort to keep spirits high as the snow falls or the idea of spending time with a mother-in-law that constantly criticizes you might instead feel more like a Halloween horror. To help increase your enjoyment during the holiday season it’s important to have your boundaries in place. 

When someone mentions aphrodisiacs what comes to mind? Like me, you might recall a book or movie mentioning a food like oysters and the promise that somehow in their slimy midst they have special properties that boost sexual desire. Pop culture even comments on aphrodisiacs, such as in the movie Wedding Crashers when Will Ferrell give his two cents on what he believes is “natures most powerful aphrodisiac”. Ferrell was comical in his idea of an aphrodisiac but it makes one wonder - what exactly are aphrodisiacs and their role in desire?

Sex is a conversation between bodies but we often find it difficult to include our voice in the conversation. Most of us aren't mind readers and getting the pleasure you need can turn into a frustrating guessing game for your partner... unless you speak up. But saying "Mmmm I like how you feel but can you use more pressure with your tongue" can be difficult for many to say. It takes a level of assertiveness as well acknowledging that you deserve to ask for the pleasure you want. For those moments when you wish you would say "a little to the left",  building your comfort with being assertive is a great place to start. 

It has been a long-time attempt to convince women they should not only need penetration during sex to have an orgasm but that the vaginal orgasm by penetration is the crown jewel of sexual satisfaction. With such expectations filling men and women’s minds, feelings of inadequacy, frustration, and just plain being pissed off occurs. Sound familiar? Forcing this model of sex doesn't help anyone because penetration just isn’t what most women need to have an orgasm. Although penetration alone works for some, it doesn’t work for a lot of women. To help provide some explanation, consider the following studies:

With ongoing concerns surrounding health care in the United States, we can all use a little healthy jump start in our lives. A fun and exciting way to stay healthy is by working it in the bedroom. If having sex in and of itself isn’t enough to have you jumping under the covers, then maybe the following health benefits will give you more of an incentive. 

Technology, for better or for worse, has become a part of everyday life. Some people even desire the use of their phone over sex. In a past survey, 15% of respondents said they would rather give up sex than go without their iPhone for a weekend. Needless to say, I’m surprised. How is it that we have allowed technology to take precedence over our sex lives?