The Well Fucked Wife™ Blog
Grab a cup of tea and dive into the blog on all things love, pleasure, desire & intimacy!
X is for porn: What to Do When Your Partner Watches Porn and You Aren’t Thrilled About It
A concern that frequently pops up in long-term relationships is porn use. You might find yourself thinking, “Ugh my partner watches porn and I’m so not OK with it!” Sound familiar? If this is you read on.
The reality is that many men and women watch porn and it makes sense given it’s pretty dang accessible. I mean, as a kid there’s no way we could have imagined that you could not only watch video from a cell phone but also that a quick search would give you…
W is for Wanting: How to Go From Wanting to Want Sex, to Wanting Sex
The number of times I have heard the phrase “I want to want sex but I don’t” has been too many to count. This is what often has many women come into my office asking for help. Their partner wants more sex and this puts them into a feeling of wide-eyed pressure and thoughts of “uhhhhh well I don’t want sex” and they feel stuck. This then creates a negative feedback loop which…
V is for Vulnerability: The Glue of Your Relationship
Vulnerability is the glue in life and relationships. Without it you would not be able to connect with those around you. Well you could but only on a surface-to-surface level. Vulnerability allows you to connect deeply from heart to heart. But as important and valuable as it is, vulnerability for many of you may be hard and scary. Actually I might even go as far as to say for most of you. Like words might not seem to explain hard and scary it is to express your desires, and needs. Sure maybe you can share…
U is for Unity: How to Create a Unity Vision Statement for Your Relationship
Whether you have been in your relationship for 2 years or 20, it’s important to have a shared idea of the values that are important to both of you in your relationship. A wonderful way to do this is by creating a shared Unity Vision Statement for your relationship. Many of you may be married and had wedding vows that focused on just this. But what often happens is those words get said on the wedding day and they then get tucked away in a sock drawer somewhere literally or figuratively. For everyone, I want you to take a closer look at what the unity of your relationship means so it’s easier for you and your partner to…
T is for Transition: Four Transitions of Intimacy for Optimal Desire
As a woman you need to be intentional about your desire because it isn’t something that you can sit back and wait for things to happen. Autopilot just doesn’t work in intimacy. That would be the equivalent to sitting in the passenger side of a car and expecting the car to go on its own while at the same time being frustrated nothing is happening. Sure there are Teslas now but that’s more of like how most men experience desire. They can sit back and their hormones can drive without much other influence. As a woman, your sexuality and desire require you to get into the driver seat and know how to drive your desire and that includes paying attention to the transitions of intimacy…
S is for Spontaneous Desire: What Spontaneous Desire Looks Like For Women
Spontaneous, excited desire is what we are often programmed to think is the “right” type of desire. This is because the “I want to jump you now” mentality is what we often see in the media because it creates quick, steamy sex scenes, which sells movies. But what does spontaneous desire actually look like in long-term relationships? And even more, what does it look like for women? The reality of these questions is important to your understanding and approach to the sexual side of your relationship…
R is for Responsive Desire: The Dominant Type of Desire for Most Women
Over and over I get women that come into my office that struggle with desire. Their partner is frustrated, they are frustrated, and both often feel stuck in what to do about it. He might think “why doesn’t she want more sex?” and in search of the answer his mind often lands on things like “Is it because I’m undesirable? Is something wrong with her? Is there something wrong in our relationship?” And on the other side, she may think “I want to want to have sex with my partner” and because…
Q is for Quick Fix: Three Quick Fix Relationship Traps and How to Avoid Them
The best things in life do not come free or easily. Instead what you need to do intentional and manageable work to make sure you get the results that you want. When it comes to relationships, the results that many people want are to have happiness, connection, sexual intimacy and a relationship that is stress-free. You are totally able to have those results in your relationship and the best way is to make sure you take the right approach rather than getting stuck in the “quick fix” traps. The quick fix is when you are…