Grab a cup of tea and dive into the blog on all things love, pleasure, desire & intimacy!
A Key Ingredient to a Healthy Relationship: The Hello/Goodbye Ritual
In our busy world, it can be easy to feel like a ball in a pinball machine going from one thing to another. I get it, you have important things to do as a high-achieving person. But with the next thing you launch off to, whether it’s work or your son’s baseball game, it’s important to establish a Hello/Goodbye Ritual with your partner, where you create a boomerang-like interaction of …
The Three P's of Intimacy
Being in a long-term relationship doesn’t mean saying goodbye to your sex life. It just doesn’t. No evil fairy comes down and casts a spell causing your intimacy and sex life to disappear. Yes, it may be different from what it was at the beginning of the relationship but it doesn’t mean it’s gone. You just need to approach your sex life in a way that actually is sustainable in a long term relationship. But, if you are like me, no one handed me a guide book when I was younger about how to actually make sex stay alive in a long-term relationship. Lucky for you I’ve …
Z is for Zero: Three Essential Steps to Take your Nonexistent Sex Life from None to Fun
If you are like most of us out there you likely weren’t given the necessary puzzle pieces that help make a beautiful relationship picture come and stay together. Instead, you may have been left to just wing it and when it comes to relationships, we can’t just wing it. It just doesn’t work. Sure, it may work for trying some new restaurant because if it doesn’t go well then there is no harm no foul. But when it comes to your relationship, there is harm. The impact is way more detrimental because…
Y is for Yes: Three Scary Ways Your People Pleasing Sabotages Intimacy
I was out for a run the other day along a path I normally take where I curve around the field of a school. Usually, when I’m out running there are kids practicing lacrosse or football or some other sport. On this run it was baseball. As I ran by, a ball went over the fence. I had options. I could have kept on running because, well, it was their ball and those kids are agile enough to hop over the small fence. It wasn’t my job to help them out nor did I particularly need to. Or I could instead go out of my way and run off my path, grab the ball and throw it over the fence so they didn’t have to go out of their way. I chose this time to…
X is for porn: What to Do When Your Partner Watches Porn and You Aren’t Thrilled About It
A concern that frequently pops up in long-term relationships is porn use. You might find yourself thinking, “Ugh my partner watches porn and I’m so not OK with it!” Sound familiar? If this is you read on.
The reality is that many men and women watch porn and it makes sense given it’s pretty dang accessible. I mean, as a kid there’s no way we could have imagined that you could not only watch video from a cell phone but also that a quick search would give you…
W is for Wanting: How to Go From Wanting to Want Sex, to Wanting Sex
The number of times I have heard the phrase “I want to want sex but I don’t” has been too many to count. This is what often has many women come into my office asking for help. Their partner wants more sex and this puts them into a feeling of wide-eyed pressure and thoughts of “uhhhhh well I don’t want sex” and they feel stuck. This then creates a negative feedback loop which…
V is for Vulnerability: The Glue of Your Relationship
Vulnerability is the glue in life and relationships. Without it you would not be able to connect with those around you. Well you could but only on a surface-to-surface level. Vulnerability allows you to connect deeply from heart to heart. But as important and valuable as it is, vulnerability for many of you may be hard and scary. Actually I might even go as far as to say for most of you. Like words might not seem to explain hard and scary it is to express your desires, and needs. Sure maybe you can share…
U is for Unity: How to Create a Unity Vision Statement for Your Relationship
Whether you have been in your relationship for 2 years or 20, it’s important to have a shared idea of the values that are important to both of you in your relationship. A wonderful way to do this is by creating a shared Unity Vision Statement for your relationship. Many of you may be married and had wedding vows that focused on just this. But what often happens is those words get said on the wedding day and they then get tucked away in a sock drawer somewhere literally or figuratively. For everyone, I want you to take a closer look at what the unity of your relationship means so it’s easier for you and your partner to…