There are many ways that sexual desire can be blocked and having pain during sex is certainly one of them. And when there’s pain it would make sense that your desire to want to be intimate is going to float away like a balloon. The reason for this is that we avoid pain as humans at a primal level of protection (unless you are playing with pain as a way to access pleasure, such as a good smack on the butt). Since it’s important to have sex from a good, positive and pleasurable place we want to take any unwanted pain out of the picture. To start your process, make sure to as these five crucial questions so that you can begin to take the pain out of the picture and reclaim your pleasure.

I am writing this blog while on the treadmill at the gym. Not really writing because I’m doing a talk to text on my phone. I’m sure the gal to the left of me thinks I’m a bit silly talking to myself. But really, I’m imagining you on the treadmill to my right and talking to you about how we are feeling about our bodies. With the first day of summer just recently behind us, I know the sweaters are likely being shoved into the bottom drawers and the shorts and dresses are out front and center. Which also means you and your body is a bit more front and center. You’re more exposed and when

Desire and the differences in desire in a relationship is a topic that hundreds of women and their partners have come to me seeking help with. And I’m not surprised. Very rarely do those I talk to have upbringing where a good sex and relationship education was provided. Results of my Free Sexual Blocks Quiz have confirmed this even further with just over 74% of you not having had any form of sex education. Further, with the overwhelming amount of information out on the internet, it’s hard to know what is solid information and if you can trust who is giving it. I hope I have earned your trust but if you are new to Intentional Intimacy then I look forward to earning that from you!

There is certainly a part of me that feels a bit nervous to tell you that Old Chicago is a frequent date-night spot for me and my husband. I know, it’s nothing fancy. There’s sometimes loud, weird music playing from the modern-day jukebox, and the pizza and beer certainly don’t help our healthy focus. It has been a go-to for us for so long that even on my

One of the common myths about relationships is that sex should come naturally. There is also often the assumption that if your partner really truly cared about you, he would know exactly what turns you on without you even saying anything. Unfortunately, not telling your partner what turns you on and what you enjoy is like expecting your partner to read you like a crystal ball. Since your partner isn’t a mind reader, you want to

Before we dive in I want to put out there that pets are wonderful! They are super cute and cuddly and that big smile when coming home is totally worth it. And although I’m not a lizard person, for those with other pets like iguanas out there, I know that any pet can bring happiness into your life. I get it! I have two dogs of my own and so I know that fur babies are a big part of many people’s lives. I want you to be careful, though, that your wonderful companion isn’t

Sexual desire in women is something that can feel like it’s not as simple as putting a peanut butter and jelly sandwich together. As a woman, you are more like a fine, multi-course meal of an experience. Because your sexual self is made up of multiple ingredients, there are often multiple contributions to why your sexual desire is not where you may want it to be. It can feel complicated but I have you covered.

This past weekend I went to my Saturday morning yoga class. Well, it’s going to start being my Saturday morning class because I just made it a weekly thing. Week one, check! When I was in class I was reminded of several things that I want to share with you about the paths that we want to take to feel ease and joy in our lives. For you and your relationship, the path may be embracing a new opportunity to follow the path of Intentional Intimacy, where you use an intentional approach to your relationship so that you have more ease and comfort in the intimacy between you and your partner. As you may have heard me say in the past,

In our busy world, it can be easy to feel like a ball in a pinball machine going from one thing to another. I get it, you have important things to do as a high-achieving person. But with the next thing you launch off to, whether it’s work or your son’s baseball game, it’s important to establish a Hello/Goodbye Ritual with your partner, where you create a boomerang-like interaction of …

Being in a long-term relationship doesn’t mean saying goodbye to your sex life. It just doesn’t. No evil fairy comes down and casts a spell causing your intimacy and sex life to disappear. Yes, it may be different from what it was at the beginning of the relationship but it doesn’t mean it’s gone. You just need to approach your sex life in a way that actually is sustainable in a long term relationship. But, if you are like me, no one handed me a guide book when I was younger about how to actually make sex stay alive in a long-term relationship. Lucky for you I’ve …

If you are like most of us out there you likely weren’t given the necessary puzzle pieces that help make a beautiful relationship picture come and stay together. Instead, you may have been left to just wing it and when it comes to relationships, we can’t just wing it. It just doesn’t work. Sure, it may work for trying some new restaurant because if it doesn’t go well then there is no harm no foul. But when it comes to your relationship, there is harm. The impact is way more detrimental because…