Claim Your Intentional Word for the Year
Here you are, you have already made steps into the new year and the new decade! What is wonderful about this time of year is it’s an opportunity to not only reflect on what has been but to also set intentions for what is to come. When setting intentions for the New Year many create resolutions. Others set goals. A word, however, has the power to be your Northstar for the year.
Why Just a Word?
A word is such a lovely thing because when you pick a word to guide your year it acts as the reference point that helps you to internally check-in with yourself. It helps you to intentionally inform the actions you are taking, the thoughts you are thinking, and the movement forward that is happening. A word allows you to see if what you are doing aligns with the destination you want to reach: your word for the year.
A word is also forgiving. I have often found that when I have set resolutions or goals it feels very rigid and very all or nothing. For example, if I set the goal to work out five times a week and then by the end of January I only slipped and it’s more like three times a week… then the feeling of failure and frustration comes in and often this is the point when all gets thrown out the window. But with a word as a guide, there is no failure, there is no all or nothing, there is no expectation of perfection. Instead, your word for the year allows you to take movement in the direction you want to go and leaves room for micro-adjustments.
A word also requires you to dive deep inside of yourself to internally find what feeling you want to create for yourself in the New Year. A goal or resolution can often be more of an external expectation or motivation, like things you feel you should be doing. A word also allows you to be open to any actions that may help you move more toward that word, rather than pigeon-holing yourself into one or two actions. We’ll explore more about this below.
Also, with a word, you are priming your mind to focus on what you want to focus on. I’m sure you’ve heard of the concept of when asked to not think about a pink elephant, you can’t help but think of a pink elephant? Or if you’re asked to name as many things in a room that are red, and then you’re asked to recall the blue things but your mind can’t think of any. The reason is that you asked your brain to focus on the red and so it did. When you ask your mind to focus on a word, it will be like a dog on the hunt that sniffs out anything that will align with that word. This is why focusing on gratitude is also so impactful because you train your brain to focus on what you want to focus on. Your brain is a powerful thing, let’s use it to your advantage!
How to Choose Your Word
When choosing a word you want to dive deep into the internal feeling you want to create for yourself in 2020. One way to do this is to ask yourself: “What do I want to feel more of in 2020 and why?” Consider yourself, your partner and your business in the process. Sit quietly when you do this and listen for a part or you that speaks up. You might find that a couple of words may come to the surface. If this is the case, you will want to check each word by saying it either out loud or internally and see if it resonates. You’ll feel it if it fits. It’ll feel like it sits cozy inside and there will be an internal “yes!”. If it doesn’t fit or is close but not quite right, you’ll feel that too like an internal “Ehhh I don’t know…”. Don’t worry if the first try you don’t find a word that resonates. Hold on to a word or two that feels close but not yet on target and then come back and check-in with yourself. Sometimes a word takes several tries of internally checking in before it reveals itself.
Another way to start the word discovery is to look at goals or resolutions that you have written down or thought of because this is what you’ve been used to. Because goals and resolutions can easily be more externally motivated, you will want to dive beneath the tip of the iceberg to find the feeling that these goals or resolutions will give you. For example, if your resolution is to go on more date nights with your partner, ask yourself “what am I seeking by wanting to go on more dates?” or “Why do I want to focus on this?”. Is it wanting to feel more joy in your relationship? Then Joy may be a good word to use as your word instead. Or perhaps you want to feel more connected with your partner. Then Connected may be a good word for you.
And as I mentioned in the previous section above, if you choose a goal or resolution then you may be limiting the potential of what you are actually wanting to feel. So if you only focus on going on more dates with your partner, for example, this would have you focused on that action and that action alone. Which, don’t get me wrong, isn’t a bad thing because date nights with your partner is key to creating emotional availability in your relationship. But, if you follow the word Connected instead, you will have your antenna up for any opportunity to feel more connected, like cuddling closer on the couch, giving an extra-long kiss at the end of the day, or appreciating your partner internally even if they are off at work, and of course date nights. When you have a word to guide you, you can leave yourself open to all sorts of options for fulfilling that word.
Using Your Word Throughout the Year
Once you have your word, you can use it for important internal check-ins. Part of being an Intentional Woman is checking in with yourself often so you can course correct. When you do this often you can make micro changes that help to nudge you back on course. When you don’t check in with yourself for weeks, months, etc. then it’s a whole lot harder to get back on track. We don’t want a Titanic situation here where things are on autopilot. Instead, earlier and frequent check-in helps you to avoid any iceberg moments.
When checking in with yourself, it’s best to do so at first with any new decision that you make. It doesn’t matter how small or big. Let’s use the date night example again. Say your partner is on the couch and there’s a moment of choice to either cuddle up with him or go read a book. If you were only focused on date night, then you may think “well our date night is tomorrow so we can connect then and I’ll go read in my room now”.
Instead, if you were focused on your word Connection, you would check in with yourself and ask “what would guide me to more Connection with my partner at this moment?” You’d likely answer with cuddling on the couch and so you would take the action now rather than waiting for date night. Why push off ‘til later what you can do now? As a result of using a word as your guide and doing internal check-ins, your thinking would easily shift to what you can do in any form at the moment rather than only one action inherent in the goal.
And as a side note, don’t feel like you have to totally cling on to your word for the whole year. You may find that in June, a whole new word resonates with you and that’s OK! Listen to your internal world and trust that as you check in your intentional movement forward may need to shift. As a result, your word may also need to shift. Also, pay attention to how you experience your word throughout the year. What you may have thought your word would create for you may occur but then some lovely, unexpected surprises often arise. Perhaps Connection expands to not only more connection with your partner, but also with yourself, friends and family. In my experience, my word for the year often evolves and expands as the year moves. When you intentionally use your word as your north star, you are on the Intentional Woman path.
My word this year is S P A C E, let me know in the comments what yours is!