Recent Blog Posts
There are many ways that sexual desire can be blocked and having pain during sex is certainly one of them. And when there’s pain it would make sense that your desire to want to be intimate is going to float away like a balloon. The reason for this is that we avoid pain as humans at a primal level of protection (unless you are playing with pain as a way to access pleasure, such as a good smack on the butt). Since it’s important to have sex from a good, positive and pleasurable place we want to take any unwanted pain out of the picture. To start your process, make sure to as these five crucial questions so that you can begin to take the pain out of the picture and reclaim your pleasure.
Sex and Money.
These are the two most common sources of conflict for couples. Conversations and behavior around the topic of money can create an atmosphere of secrecy, insecurity, and fear. Hidden expectations about earning potential, spending habits and money tasks, such as balancing the budget, filing taxes or investing, prevent solutions that reflect the needs of each individual and sabotage the foundation necessary for couples as they attempt to plan their financial future together.
Is there a “happily ever after”?
I am writing this blog while on the treadmill at the gym. Not really writing because I’m doing a talk to text on my phone. I’m sure the gal to the left of me thinks I’m a bit silly talking to myself. But really, I’m imagining you on the treadmill to my right and talking to you about how we are feeling about our bodies. With the first day of summer just recently behind us, I know the sweaters are likely being shoved into the bottom drawers and the shorts and dresses are out front and center. Which also means you and your body is a bit more front and center. You’re more exposed and when
Desire and the differences in desire in a relationship is a topic that hundreds of women and their partners have come to me seeking help with. And I’m not surprised. Very rarely do those I talk to have upbringing where a good sex and relationship education was provided. Results of my Free Sexual Blocks Quiz have confirmed this even further with just over 74% of you not having had any form of sex education. Further, with the overwhelming amount of information out on the internet, it’s hard to know what is solid information and if you can trust who is giving it. I hope I have earned your trust but if you are new to Intentional Intimacy then I look forward to earning that from you!
There is certainly a part of me that feels a bit nervous to tell you that Old Chicago is a frequent date-night spot for me and my husband. I know, it’s nothing fancy. There’s sometimes loud, weird music playing from the modern-day jukebox, and the pizza and beer certainly don’t help our healthy focus. It has been a go-to for us for so long that even on my
One of the common myths about relationships is that sex should come naturally. There is also often the assumption that if your partner really truly cared about you, he would know exactly what turns you on without you even saying anything. Unfortunately, not telling your partner what turns you on and what you enjoy is like expecting your partner to read you like a crystal ball. Since your partner isn’t a mind reader, you want to
Before we dive in I want to put out there that pets are wonderful! They are super cute and cuddly and that big smile when coming home is totally worth it. And although I’m not a lizard person, for those with other pets like iguanas out there, I know that any pet can bring happiness into your life. I get it! I have two dogs of my own and so I know that fur babies are a big part of many people’s lives. I want you to be careful, though, that your wonderful companion isn’t
Sexual desire in women is something that can feel like it’s not as simple as putting a peanut butter and jelly sandwich together. As a woman, you are more like a fine, multi-course meal of an experience. Because your sexual self is made up of multiple ingredients, there are often multiple contributions to why your sexual desire is not where you may want it to be. It can feel complicated but I have you covered.
This past weekend I went to my Saturday morning yoga class. Well, it’s going to start being my Saturday morning class because I just made it a weekly thing. Week one, check! When I was in class I was reminded of several things that I want to share with you about the paths that we want to take to feel ease and joy in our lives. For you and your relationship, the path may be embracing a new opportunity to follow the path of Intentional Intimacy, where you use an intentional approach to your relationship so that you have more ease and comfort in the intimacy between you and your partner. As you may have heard me say in the past,
Sex and Relationship Therapy in Boulder, Colorado with Dr. Chelsea Holland, DHS, MS.
In the honeymoon phase of your relationship when things are new and exciting you don’t have to think about intimacy because everything just flows so easily. You don’t need to focus on doing things differently or with intention because you are in the flow. When you move more into the committed love space and keep approaching your relationship with the going-with-the-flow mentality rather than taking action, things are going to start flowing in the wrong direction unintentionally.