March 13, 2020

3 Ways You Are Blocking Physical Intimacy in Your Relationship

March 13, 2020/ Dr. Chelsea Page

One key piece for wonderful intimacy in a relationship is the openness and energy of receiving physical touch. It may be hard for you to receive physical touch in your relationship right now and this is because one or many blocks have gotten in the way. Let’s explore three ways that physical intimacy gets blocked in a relationship so that you can start to consider where there are blocks to receiving the physical connection in your relationship.

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The Invisible String

One way that the receiving of physical intimacy in your relationship may be getting blocked is because there is this feeling of pressure and expectation that the physical touch is linked to more touch by an invisible string. Let’s say your partner reaches in for a big smooch when you are both watching TV on the couch, you may block his giving of physical intimacy with a verbal or non-verbal pull-away. Perhaps you are open to a kiss but your mind goes “Ut-oh! Does that mean he wants sex?” If this enters your mind then the thing you don’t want right now (sex) causes you to block what you may have been open to (the kiss). The result? Your mind goes “Nope” and you stop your partner’s bid for a physical connection before it “could lead anywhere”.

Don’t cut off your openness for one thing, like a kiss, because you are’t open to something you are connecting it to, like sex, with an invisible string.

It’s important to remember that there are no strings attached to any physical intimacy that you and your partner enjoy in your relationship. If you feel that this invisible string is present in your relationship, meaning that you feel physical touch will have to lead in the sexual direction, first check with yourself about where this is coming from. Is it an internal expectation that you have in your mind that you are putting on the relationship when the reality is that your partner just wants a smooch? Is it based on experiences that all touching in your relationship has really only been sexual touch, meaning an all or nothing? Is there something else that feels contributes to your string-attached feeling? When you get curious about where this expectation of any physical touch always being expected to lead to the bedroom then you can start identifying where you can change the dynamic in your relationship to allow physical intimacy to be received openly.

Your Emotional Needs Aren’t Met

You may also be blocking the physical touch in your relationship because you are not receiving your needs elsewhere in the relationship. Especially for women where their dominant desire type is responsive desire, it is not only important but pretty close to essential that you are receiving your needs in the emotional side of the relationship. This prime ingredient is like putting the eggs in your cake mix before putting it in the oven. Eggs first, oven next. If you go oven first without the eggs, that cake will not turn out well.

A closed heart means more difficulty for your body to open to physical connection.

As women, we want to feel safe through an emotional connection with our partner in order to open our bodies up. If you are feeling your heart is not receiving the emotional love it needs then your body is going to have a hard time opening up to receive physical intimacy. Be curious if there is a lack of or minimal emotional needs being met. You might not be feeling the emotional giving from your partner because he may not be giving in this area in the way you need. This can happen if he doesn’t even know what it is you need, as a people pleaser you may not be sharing with him your need. Be curious also if you might also not be receiving the emotional bids of connection from your partner because there is an emotional block in your heart. Sometimes a partner may be sending all the love over but it’s not finding it’s way into your heart. If this is a case, ask yourself what do I fear about letting love in?

The Amazing YOU in You is Blocked

Another area that might be contributing to your difficulty in receiving physical touch in your relationship is there is a block in you receiving the best version of YOU. When there are internal blocks within you about yourself then this is going to block your reception of physical connection. This might look like you experiencing high stress, which puts a humongous block in front of receiving really any connection, including physical connection. This might also look like you not feeling sexy and confident within your own body, which can also lead to you blocking any physical connection. When you aren’t providing love to yourself, like with beautiful “you are amazing” thoughts sent your way, then it’s going to be uber tricky to receive all the beautiful love your partner sends your way.

How can we receive from our partner when we don’t even receive from ourselves?

The key thing here is to step into your Intentional Women self and ask yourself “What is impeding my openness to receiving the physical connection in my relationship?”. If you take some space to really slow down and ask yourself this question and also importantly allow the space for your inner wisdom to let you know the answer, this will help guide you into what area in your life, relationship, and within yourself that you need to focus on to create more openness to receiving.

Want to know more about how to uplevel your relationship even more inside the bedroom and out? I thought so! Come join me in Facebook Group for the FREE Intentional Intimacy Mini-Series “The 4 Essential Steps to Connection and Happiness in your Relationship (Inside the Bedroom and Out!). The action starts on March 3rd is all the month of March. Join now so you don’t miss out on the free lessons and oh, did I mention there are giveaways?!

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